The italian property job
Photo by plumbum
I'd been to Lecce before, twice. Lovely city, full of charm and friendly locals, mainly farmers, who between them probably only knew five phrases of English (hello - good-morning - goodnight - you want to buy? and Gary Lineker). But their warmth resonated a form of communication that went far beyond mere language.
Besides, I couldn't be a complete hypocrite and mock as my Italian didn't stretch any further, except in my case it was Paolo Maldini.
One day, late last year, my growing interest in this small pastoral part of Southern Italy was ignited by a close Italian friend of mine who told me that the area was ripe right now to buy old derelict properties, do them up and sell them on, making an exuberant profit in the process. You know, like in the good old days in England, before all the property programmes spoilt it for the hardcore investor by informing everyone that anyone could make a tiny fortune from buying property, DIYing it and then flipping it on. Plus you didn't even have to be particularly clever to do it, which was a bonus for me.
My Latin friend revealed that he had bought a large 4 bed country home for under £27,000 just over a year ago. He bought it in cash as he advised that it was best to bypass a mortgage, especially in certain parts of Italy.
Going Once, Going Twice...
Well I happened to have a spare 30k lying around from some property that I bought at a London auction last summer, when I had purchased one apartment at a steal but then idiotically stayed around long enough to get caught up in the whole euphoria of bidding at my first auction. I got a little high on property power and bought a second flat, which wasn't for a steal and was pretty much a dog with fleas. Also, I didn't really have the funds to get two properties on that particular day and a harsh lesson was learned.
Anyway, to cut a long story short and to get back to the point of my prose, I made a lot on one and lost a fair bit on the other, hence the spare 30k, although it should have been 50k if I hadn't bid for that stupid second... will you just let it go... I'm okay about it now, honest.
So, I showed my interest in this possible Italian renovation, especially when my friend - who up until this point had been a reliable source - also stated that there was a lovely stone built house with an unkempt garden that attracted all nature of wildlife, begging to be bought. It was located just a mile from the powdery, white sand Coast and going for a song at £24,950 or in his money 32,000 Euros.
Mama Mia!
Monica Bellucci - photo by ecb29
I have to admit that I was already leaning towards pursuing this house, but what finally pushed me over the edge was the revelation that next door, well as next door as you can get in the abandoned countryside of this remote town, lived the Italian actress and ex model, Monica Bellucci.
Now for those that don't know this woman, where have you been you Male fools? She's stunning, dark haired, olive skinned, dreamy eyed and has a pout to die for, with projected attitude aplenty.
One tiny hindrance on her behalf is that she's currently married to the French film actor Vincent Cassel, but that's a small blip and would soon Change once I moved into her neighbourhood, obviously.
On a Promise and a Plane to Lecce
So, I did my sight seeing trip to Lecce, always recommended before buying any overseas property. I did all the research on the country, the region and the local area.
I investigated how easy it would be to buy the stone rubble, as that's what it was, and own it outright without any of the ex owners family members showing up one day with pick-forks and claiming that the Land and dwellings were rightly theirs.
After a couple of weeks of ground work I checked the exchange rate the documents and the ownership policy and whether it was totally freehold to me the purchaser and absolutely no one else, then I handed over my hard earned Euros, took the heavy, rusting keys and thought of Monica.
So, the plan was to get the place renovated as soon a possible and use it as a summer holiday home. Well winters a bit bleak there, not so much the weather, but the area is very remote and quiet and the few people that do show up seem depressed or lost.
What's in a Name?
As well as the plan to do it up and have splendid sun dripped days there, kicking the frothy spume and paddling in the clear blue waters of the sea, my main goal was, of course, to bump into the Moorish Monica. But after buying the dark and dank house with its residents of rats and mosquitoes, I disappointingly found out that Ms Bellucci had in fact never lived in this part of Lecce, nor any other part of Lecce for that matter, but a Monica Bellutti had, over 55 years ago... so I wasn't even tempted to look her up.
There I was, left with a crumbling house and a broken heart; in a land that didn't even speak my tongue and 25k less in the bank.
Thankfully though, there is a happy ending to the story, as I managed to tart the old place up, retaining much of its original charm and combining it with a touch of modern finesse, such as a bathroom, windows and an inside toilet, then I sold it for a cracking 95,000 Euros (that's £74,100 in real money), making a profit of £49,150.
Better to Have Loved and Lost...
And the moral of the story, well while I was looking for some hot totty, I stumbled onto a hot property and made a nice little earner along the way.
So, with that experience working out well, I've now moved onto the next new project and I've found a wonderful 2 bed apartment that needs doing up in a small town just outside Munich in Bavaria, Germany... and apparently that lovely Heidi Klum lives just around the corner.
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